the-rogue-0f-light:

balfies:

an-xfile:

actuallybenwyatt:

I met a couple Australians this weekend and they introduced me to what is possibly the greatest phrase in the English language. Apparently, a common response to a wide variety of questions is “I’m not here to fuck spiders”. It means “I’m already doing that” or “Obviously, yeah”. So like, example usage:

At the bar with a friend.
Friend: do you want to get a beer?
Me: well, I’m not here to fuck spiders.

ive literally never heard someone say that what fuckin australians did you meet

mate those Australians introduced you to the grand Australian tradition of fucking with foreigners and making them believe anything about Australia

this is seriously a thing australians do, like, automatically. someone will say something that is complete bullshit in front of a foreigner and everyone will instantly jump on board and confirm it. like it’s some kind of built-in reflex.

my step-dad actually convinced my mom that there were no trains in australia. and he didn’t end this conversation with a ‘just kidding’ or anything like that. he just let her think that for years until we moved here and she saw a train and was like DAMN IT KEVIN!!!!!